Things to remember about the effects on Teens who have sex with Older
Men
●Teens may or may not be impacted negatively from engaging in sex with
an older man but the probability of negative outcomes is extremely high
●Culturally, we have evolved from the era where it’s the norm for people
get married in their teens
●The residual effects can last for many years and can impact every area of
the person’s life including the next generation and their ability to form
securely attached relationships built on mutual trust, respect and
healthy loving attachments
●Effects regarding the sexual abuse of power can occur with teen/young
boys as well as teen/young girls
●Bad decision making behavior is at a higher risk for sexual compromise in
teens due to lack of maturity, brain development and limited family
structure
●These teens are often searching for LOVE & SUPPORT but what they find
is a predator ready to TAKE ADVANTAGE OF & EXPLOIT the teen due to
an ABUSE of POWER
●The number of statutory rape cases may be higher because much goes
unreported
●The fallout from these cases of rape is depression, anger, anxiety, low
self-esteem, PTSD, substance abuse, high rates of promiscuity, continued
abuse from other partners, unhealthy relationships and sometimes
higher risks of suicide ideations
●The grooming process becomes an exchange of sex for money and
material things and then shapes the teens lifestyle based on a bartering
dynamic that often leads to conditions that have very little to do with
healthy love attachments
●Alienation from family, friends and personal community often create
more co-dependence on the older person in the relationship that ultimately puts the teen in a one-down inequitable position of vulnerability
●Things that older men say to make excuses for inappropriate sexual
behavior:
●She/he consented voluntarily
●She/he enjoyed it
●She/he initiated and is already sexually active
●She/he is very mature & age is just a number
●She/he has had other multiple partners so they are experienced
●She/he isn’t innocent looking regarding body type, style of dress or
actions
●The adult as described by others is not a bad person, they just had too
much to drank or got caught up with the teen
Things to help those impacted by statutory rape and/or sexual abuse of
power to ultimately transition them from victims to victors:
●Don’t give up on the teen/young person no matter how much they push
you away
●Stay Connected: find a way to communicate even if it means that you
don’t talk negatively about the older person
●Don’t blame or shame the victim – you will just lose them emotionally
●Remember that they are being abused by a powerful person which
already leaves them insecure so you don’t want to emotionally re-injure
them
●Find ways through perhaps technology or social media to maintain a
connection daily
●Provide information on resources even if it’s just something for them to
consider at a later date
●(![]()
www.safeteens.org) provides lots of resources for both teens and
parents to support them if they are in crisis
●Give the teen a Plan B for when they are READY to leave/let go
●Understand the Power of Prayer is you are a spiritual person
●Offer “education, education, education” on what is and is not considered
statutory rape and an abuse of power sexually
●Focus on the family to build support for when and if the teen comes
home
●Seek Therapeutic Intervention for the teen as well as the family involved
to help them process the trauma and move towards healing and
wholeness